Why I Didn’t Fire My Surgeon

I am an ENTJ. If you’ve spent any talking to Nick or Rahul in the last four or five years (or if you went to or work at NCS), to too are probably aware of your Myers-Briggs.  If you haven’t, read more here: http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp Unlike descriptions of my astrological sign, I find my Myers-Briggs hilariously accurate.

Here’s a few flattering things about my personality type:

They live in a world of possibilities where they see all sorts challenges to be surmounted, and they want to be the ones responsible for surmounting them. They have a drive for leadership, which is well-served by their quickness to grasp complexities, their ability to absorb a large amount of impersonal information, and their quick and decisive judgments. They are “take charge” people.

They are constantly scanning their environment for potential problems which they can turn into solutions. They generally see things from a long-range perspective, and are usually successful at identifying plans to turn problems around.

My new colleagues at RISD may not love all of these things about me, since I regularly offer to overhaul and streamline all their systems.

Here’s some less flattering, but still pretty spot-on, things:

Unlike other types, ENTJs naturally have little patience with people who do not see things the same way as the ENTJ. The ENTJ needs to consciously work on recognizing the value of other people’s opinions, as well as the value of being sensitive towards people’s feelings. In the absence of this awareness, the ENTJ will be a forceful, intimidating and overbearing individual.

And here are some things that you probably already knew about me.

ENTJs primary mode of living is focused externally, where they deal with things rationally and logically. The secondary mode is internal, where they take things in primarily via their intuition. They make decisions quickly, and are quick to verbalize their opinions and decisions to the rest of the world.  (HELLO, BLOG)

These individuals frequently have very strong sentimental streaks. Often these sentiments are very powerful to the ENTJ, although they will likely hide it from general knowledge, believing the feelings to be a weakness. (Damn right I do, and I beat myself up about this constantly.)

And here’s some things that I’ve realized recently about myself and are applicable (finally) to the point I’m trying to make:

There’s nothing more enjoyable and satisfying to the ENTJ than having a lively, challenging conversation. They especially respect people who are able to stand up to the ENTJ, and argue persuasively for their point of view. There aren’t too many people who will do so, however, because the ENTJ is a very forceful and dynamic presence who has a tremendous amount of self-confidence and excellent verbal communication skills.

As I mentioned in my last post, I emailed Dr. Smith and asked for her opinion about my appointment with the surgeon. Dr. Smith thought that I should stick with her. I am really struggling with this. I trust Dr. Smith and her understanding of me, my needs, and my situation more that I have words to express. And, logically she is probably right. In this instance, however, I have a hard time thinking totally logically or rationally. As you just read, I naturally make decisions based on logic (or what I see as logic) and distrust/disrespect those made on emotions. But I’m emotional about this. She hurt my feelings, not to mention the entire circumstance around this choice is about my mother’s death- obviously an emotional topic for me.

I’m trying to restructure how I think about this surgeon and view her as someone who is more forceful than I am– a kind of person I don’t often encounter. Though I wish she had done it more respectfully, I believe she was trying to challenge me and my decision making process. I will keep trying to do this until the next time I meet with her. For now, I’m waiting to hear back about insurance. I am also waiting to send a formal letter of complaint. I might even change my mind about sending it at all; another very rare occurrence.

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